a (currently short list) of Glossier stuff I've tried



A while back I was visiting a friend in NYC and suggested visiting the Glossier showroom. He, knowing nothing about it, suggested getting stoned first. Protip: don't go to the Glossier showroom stoned.

If you do, though, there is (at least when we went) helpful signage on the way, saying that we were almost there; and so so close; and turn around because we just missed the showroom!. I don't remember exactly what it said (heh) but it pretty much felt like they were reading my mind.

When we arrived it was half an hour before closing but it was still mobbed AF (I took the photo right before leaving). I read recently that the showroom generates more revenue per square foot than an average Apple store, and I believe it. Customer after customer were leaving with clear plastic bags so you could tell exactly what they bought. My friend, a marketing major in college, was impressed. Then we realized that not only were all of the salespeople wearing the same millenial pink mechanic's jumpsuit, they also all had the same past-shoulder length, wavy, middle-part hair. When we left, my friend proclaimed "that place is a cult".

That it is. And with cults come controversy, but for the most part (aside from their obviously discriminatory hiring practices) I'm OK with the aesthetic and the philosophy. People call it "cool girl", but it speaks to me as an aspiring minimalist, as someone who doesn't own more than 2 makeup brushes not because I'm low maintenance, but because I'm lazy.

Onto the stuff I've tried:

  • Stretch concealer: I'm surprised so many people like it. Not because the formula isn't good, but because of the limited shade range. I am squarely in between medium and dark, so game over. 
  • Priming moisturizer: I mean, it's fine. Feels nice going on. Can't say it decreased redness for me like it claims. Not sure why it's $22.
  • You eau de parfum: Does anyone genuinely like this? Whoever wrote the ad copy is a genius and also seems to have never smelled it: Creamy, sparkling, clean, warm. More like boring as hell: that is all. My search for the perfect skin scent continues...
  • Cloud Paint: I ended up with Puff because I was looking for a blush that looked actual flushing. It does that on those days that I look absolutely lifeless, but other than that it blends in a little too well into my between-Glossier-medium-and-dark skin. I am impressed with the formula, though--it's just pretty effortless.
  • Milky Jelly Cleanser: OK, this stuff is really nice. It feels comforting going on and I actually like that it doesn't foam, and it has a low pH. I'm going to guess that the product developers basically took the concept of La Roche Posay's Physiological gel cleanser (which I believe is now discontinued) and made it less drying. I don't believe it's all you need to remove makeup, but it's fine for me since I use it as a morning cleanser. However, it's $18 and not a life changer. I will probably wait until their next Black Friday sale to repurchase and use my CeraVe in the meantime. But if my funds were unlimited, sure, I would buy this by the case and use it on my vagina too, like Emily Weiss
Stuff I want to try eventually: 
  • Cloud Paint in Dusk or Haze: they're more pigmented than Puff so I might have better luck. 
  • Body Hero oil wash and cream: but after that You experience, I am going to wait until I actually smell it in person. 
  • Solution: I'm all about exfoliating toners to remove last traces of grime and prep my skin for additional acids, but this will have to wait until I'm done with the Ordinary Glycolic 7% Toning Solution (which I bought at Sephora the day it was released there) and the Biologique Recherche P50 (which has been more established as a game changer). Maybe by then there will be reviews that will sway me in either direction...

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